Five Days
by For The Love Of Kogan
Summary: Kendall and Logan are happily married, but what happens when Logan gets sick and Kendall is faced with losing the man he loves?
1. Chapter 1

**BOOM! **

**Another Story! yay! Ha, I need friends...**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kogan or Jarlos although that would be pretty freakin' awesome!**

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_**Chapter one: Pain.**_

** Day 1**

Time seemed to slow down, I guess that's how it always is when you're anxious to know something. This however, killed me.

I wanted to know what was happening to my husband, It's been four hours and the doctors haven't told me anything.

I was beginning to get frustrated, why couldn't they tell me what was happening? I have a right to know!

It hurt.

Being away from him for so long stung, but I couldn't exactly do anything about it.

Carlos sat on his boyfriends lap. It annoyed me. Why were they showing affection towards each other at a time like this? I wanted to hold the man I love and they know that, so why? why must they do this. I glared at them. They didn't see. They didn't care.

Maybe I didn't either.

My heart was breaking every second I was breathing.

So maybe I didn't care if they didn't see.

"Mr. Knight?" The nurse called out.

Her name was Rebecca. She had long brown hair and dark blue eyes, she was beautiful, and maybe if I was straight I'd be interested. But I have a gorgeous husband and I wouldn't trade him for the world.

I stood up.

My feet could barely carry me because I was so tired, but I managed.

James and Carlos stood and begun to follow me.

"No. Sit." I sighed. "I can do it by myself, I'm not going to break." I was lying. I most defiantly was breaking.

Every emotion on my face screamed 'I'm dying but you can't save me, Only Logan can'

If Logan was with me he'd tell me I was over thinking, He'd say something like 'Kendall baby you need to calm down.'

Of course if he was here, I wouldn't be in this position.

"Do you have any news on Logan? Please tell me you do. oh god, its bad isn't it?" I panicked. I didn't know what else to do, I was worried and scared. James and Carlos were listening from a distance, I let them, they had a right to know what was happening to their friend.

"Mr. Knight deep breaths please." She looked at me in the eyes, she looked upset. "It's not good news I can tell you that... Your husband has cancer." She paused. My heart stopped beating, I could feel it. The pain was so real. "five days, maybe more... but five days seems to be confirmed pretty good. I'm so sorry." She put a hand on my shoulder before turning and leaving.

Tears fell.

He's my everything, and He's leaving.

I dropped to my knees. pain. That's all I felt.

How could this be happening? I'm dreaming right? this is just a bad, bad nightmare.. I'll wake up soon. He'll be laying in my arms and everything will be fine.

"Kendall..." James stood behind me. I felt so small, so broken. "It will be okay buddy, You'll get through this.. I Know you're strong enough." I stood up and faced him, anger crossed over me. I clenched my fist and let all my emotions and feelings out.

"You're joking right? You can't possibly think That I can get through this.. Logan Is dying! The man I love, My soul mate, my rock, the only one for me is dying and I can't save him! I feel so worthless because I can't help my baby through this. He always helped me through everything, why can't I save him?! Why is god doing this to me?! what did I do to deserve this! All I did was love him and the world is threatening to take him away from me!" I screamed, tears streamed down my flushed cheeks. "I can't live without him. I'll be lost, and scared."

"I'm so sorry Kendall. If there is anything we can do for you just let us know" James and Carlos wrapped me in their arms for a hug.

All I felt was pain. Why couldn't it be me that was dying? My precious Logie doesn't deserve this, He's only twenty for crying out loud.

I sat down on the chairs in the waiting room, my eyes began to feel heavy.

Maybe I'll get to see him tomorrow.

Maybe my heart was meant to be broken.

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Chapter 2 will be up soon, enjoy!

Favorite and Review.

Thanks :)

~Kaycee


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Kogan or Jarlos.**

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_**chapter 2: It wont be the same.**_

**Day 2**

It was noon and I was finally in Logan's room.

He was sitting up on his hospital bed crying, this broke my heart.

How could I have let this happen? How could I have been so stupid?

"Don't blame yourself Kendall." Logan sniffed, looking at me. He had tears staining his cheeks.

"How did you know I was blaming myself?" I wiped away his unwanted tears.

"I know you my love."

I kissed the top of his head. "It wont be the same and its all my fault. Why couldn't it be me? Why couldn't I be where you are right now?" It was my turn to cry now. I held onto Logan, afraid to let go.

"Things happen for a reason Kendall, please don't blame yourself for this. I love you and I would never pin something like this on you."

"How can this be apart of gods plan? How could he do this to me? You're everything to me! We were suppose to grow old together, we were suppose to die together. This isn't right. No. No. please Logan don't leave me. I have to blame myself for this. I've been so busy in the last two weeks, I should-be been with you Logie, I'm so sorry." My face was flushed. Tears were streaming down my face and I felt pathetic.

I looked at Logan when he put a hand on my knee. "Babe, You didn't know, nobody did." He kissed me. Every emotion was put into it. We stayed like this until the nurse came in and told me Logan needed to nap.

I fought, I wanted to stay with him, but I couldn't.

"Please. I need to be with him. Please!" My heart broke as she shoved me out the door.

My back pressed against the wall and I slid to the floor.

Tears fell once more.

They couldn't do this to me. I'm so alone, I need to be with him until his time is up.

I shook my head and screamed, I didn't care if I was in the hospital. I was losing someone I love. I was hurting and I couldn't cope.

After awhile I stood up and made my way back over to James and Carlos, They were standing next to the front desk talking to Rebecca.

I didn't feel like talking so I sat in a chair in the waiting room and cried to myself.

"Oh hey, Kendall is back." I heard Carlos say. My head looked over to their direction as they walked over to me.

"How is he today?" James asked. "How are you today?"

"He's dying and you're asking me how we're doing... Open your eyes James! I need him to survive! He isn't the only one dying!"

James raised an eyebrow at me then turned to Carlos.

"Sorry... Um, we're going to head home for the night. You going to be alright here?" He asked, backing away slightly.

"I'll be fine, Thanks." I sighed.

They both nodded before leaving. Once again I was alone. crying.

I closed my eyes hoping I would have a peaceful dream, I had no such luck.

Even in my dreams I was haunted by Logan having cancer.

I was sweating and crying in my sleep, but I let myself sleep, because either way I'd have to face this.

I shook as Logan took his last breath. My eyes shot open.

I can't do this.

I can't live without him. I wont.

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**Thank you, I love you all! **

**~Kaycee**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is in Logan's point of view.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR.**

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_**Chapter 3: Tears wont**_** fall.**

**Day 2**

**I was dying.**

**I never really thought of my dying this young, But things do happen.**

**Kendall wasn't holding up well, I knew that, but I wish I wasn't the cause of his tears.**

**I hate seeing him this way, so broken, so hurt.**

**It was me who was causing him to be like that, this killed me more than the cancer.**

**After hours of crying, I gave up.**

**I faced the sad reality. I was leaving, and I couldn't be with Kendall anymore.**

**My heart ached, He's all I ever wanted. I planed on spending forever with him, that can't happen anymore.**

**It was okay that I was dying. I didn't care, I wasn't scared. I am for my Love though.**

**He was always known to be a leader, although, when his family or loved one is in danger he is a wreck.**

**I couldn't help, No matter what I said, He still cried.**

**His arms are wrapped around my waist as he slept. The hospital beds are small, but we still managed. **

**He looked peaceful, He looked like he did before the we got the news.**

**I wish I could heal, just so I had longer with Kendall.**

**I can only dream of that.**

**Now it seems like a blur, I feel like my life leading up to this was so pointless. I know better than that though, because Kendall is a part of me. And that is not pointless.**

**He's made me happy through everything. I know I can get through this without anymore tears falling.**

**"Logie?" Kendall's voice was soft, it sounded almost as broken as his heart.**

**"Yes baby?" I looked up at his face. He had tears in his eyes. **

**"You're my forever." He whispered before closing his eyes again.**

**He fell back asleep fast. I stared of into nothing realizing, maybe this is harder than I thought.**

**A tear fell freely from my eye, instead of wiping it away I let it be.**

**Maybe I do need to cry once in a while, Maybe that's all I really needed. Was to cry. After all, we can't always be strong.**

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**Favorite & Review! (I didn't read through it, sorry if there are any mistakes.) **

**thanks :)**

**~Kaycee. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't Own Kogan Or Jarlos.**

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**_chapter 4:_**_** Someday**__**.**_

**Day 4**

Logan wasn't getting any better, He was in so much pain.

I knew he wanted to get this over with. I could tell He wished he would just die, but I wasn't ready for him to go yet. Nobody was.

James and Carlos were hurting, they were losing their best friend after all.

I was sitting in the waiting room, They wouldn't let me see him today. Logan had many tests that needed to be done.

I thought back on the first day I met him. We were five, and it was lunch time. A third grader threw a sandwich at him, I felt so bad for Logan. Nobody stood up for him, so I did. I was only five, but I knew I could hurt the older boy if I tried.

I slammed my lunch try across his face, he never messed with Logan again.

Ever since then we have been friends, ever since that moment I have loved him.

Thinking about the good times helped for a while. It got my mind off of what was happening in my life, but not for long.

I often wished I could go back to the fourth grade. The day Logan moved into the house across from mine. That was the moment we became one. If I wasn't at his house, he'd be at mine. That was the beginning of my crush.

I guess after seeing someone everyday and spending every waking moment with them, you just kind of fall. And I am so glad I did.

There are things I wish I could take back though, mostly the tears. I would give anything to heal all the pain Logan is feeling, I really would. Unfortunately some things are impossible, that being one of them.

I knew this wouldn't be the end of me and Logan, We'd see each other again someday. I knew we would because we haven't spent a moment apart since the day we met, death wouldn't keep us a part. Nothing could.

Tears slipped from my eyes, and fell down my face. This is all I did, Think and cry. I guess there's nothing you can actually do when a loved one is dying.

All you feel is pain, all you want is an easier way around it, but it's suddenly all you have.

I live in a dark world. Nothing seems right anymore, I know it'll be worse once Logan is actually gone. I don't want to experience that though, not yet. Not ever.

"You're thinking too much buddy. You should get some rest. We have a long day tomorrow." Carlos spoke.

I knew he was right, but I wasn't ready, I don't want to lose Logan. We have a future, Logan deserves a future.

I'm not ready to let go, but I know that I will have to be. Someday.

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**I cried while writing this one. Holy crap. One more chapter after this, I may get this story completely done by tonight.**

**Favorite & Review! :)**

**~Kaycee**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is the last chapter :(**

**I'm deciding if I should make a sequel to this or not.**

**Anyway, enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't Own Kogan Or Jarlos.**

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**Chapter 5: Goodbye my angel.**

**Day 5**

"What do you want to do today Logie?" My broken voice carried through out his room.

"I just want to be with you. Forever." He looked up at me, his beautiful face held a sad smile. I nodded.

I didn't know how I was going to handle being without him for so long, these past few days seemed to go by to fast for my liking.

"And we will be. One day I'll meet you in heaven. I promise Logie, I will always be with you. In here" I moved his hand to my heart. Tears fell from both of our eyes, neither of us wanted to say goodbye. "I love you."

"You know I love you too. Never forget that." He begged. "Never forget me."

The sight of him broke me. My once always cheerful love, was now dying. I couldn't ever forget him, he's my sunshine.

"Baby, as long as my heart is beating, its beating for you. I will never be able to forget you. I don't want to remember you like this though Logie, I want to remember how you use to be. Always happy, and so passionate about everything." I kneeled down beside his bed, his hand still on my heart.

He smiled at me, this time it wasn't sad. His face was filled with love, filled with hope.

"It's time for me to go. I can feel it.." His eyes searched my face for anything, but there was nothing.

"Please. you can't go. Don't leave me, not yet. Logie, please. I love you and I want to spend every waking minute next to you. You're perfect to me, you're everything to me. Don't leave me." My vision was becoming blurry, as tears kept falling from my eyes.

"I'm not leaving you. I'm just going away for a while.. I love you too Kendall, always."

Our lips locked, it was a much needed kiss. It was filled with everything, sadness, heartbreak, love and passion.

"goodbye my angel." I choked out as we pulled away from each other. I grabbed both of his hands and intertwined them with mine.

His eyes were closing slowly, this was my worst nightmare coming true. Tears were falling harder until his heart monitor flat lined. Doctors ran in and pushed me out the door.

"No!" I cried out, my back slid down the wall. Everything I ever loved, was now gone.

"Kendall?!" James and Carlos ran around the corner. "Is he... gone?" Carlos asked.

I nodded. That's all I could do, I couldn't feel anything.

This was the beginning of a world with out my Logie, and I didn't like it one bit.

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**love ya'll :) **

**~Kaycee**


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